My Re-Baptism

I’ve thought about being re-baptized for months at this point. Whenever the topic of baptism comes up, I continuously have a tender whisper in the back of my mind that makes me question whether I should do it or not. Well, I finally did it. 

I was first baptized when I was really young, it was at our family church with my little brother. Me and my little brother were asked at the same time. Out of brotherly competition, we obviously both said yes. I had prayed to be saved many times before being baptized that first time. I remember always questioning my salvation so I would pray over and over again just to make sure my fate was sealed. But I never truly understood what this salvation meant, it never truly hit me until a lot later. As I grew up, my faith slowly, but surely, became my own. In the past year, my faith has completely changed, I’ve felt the Holy Spirit like never before. 

Fast forward to this past Monday, the 5th. My team coaches were talking to us about an opportunity to be baptized and they discussed their thoughts on re-baptism. They truly emphasized the importance of a two-way conversation between me and God. So that’s what I did, I prayed every day over whether God was calling me to lay myself down in that water. I initially felt a strong conviction to do it, but day by day as we got closer, my doubts got stronger and stronger. By the day of baptism, my head was so clouded with feelings of doubt that I didn’t know what I wanted. I just didn’t want to make the wrong choice. 

Then, this past Wednesday, was the day of baptisms. I listened to the message on living out your faith and it was extremely convicting. They talked about being cleansed and made new and I felt like that was what I needed. A burning sensation started building up in my chest, it felt like my heart was about to explode. Second by second, the message would convict me more and more and this feeling became overwhelming. It felt like someone had placed a semi-truck on my chest and every ounce of my being just wanted to rip it off. The speaker began speaking in tongues, which I had never heard before. Every indecipherable word sent chills down my spine. Then it reached a peak, and words that had been said to me earlier in the week came to mind. “It is better to be wrong than to be disobedient.” Right then I knew, I had to step into line.

I waited my turn and felt God already giving me the rest that I had been praying for. I got prayed over by multiple people and the presence of God felt so real and irrepressible. The time had finally come for me to be baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Into the water, I went, but I didn’t just come back out. It felt like I had shed my old self and left it in that water. I felt free, I felt renewed. For a time, it was like all my problems, struggles, and doubts had vanished. All I felt was peace and joy. I was so excited all I wanted to do was go sprint a marathon. But during all this excitement of renewal, the word, “fast,” came to me. So I began my 24-hour fast right then and there.

Starting my fast, I had already barely eaten that day. And if you didn’t know how much I eat every day, I will let you in on a secret, it’s a lot. It was even more of a sacrifice that day because we went out to eat two times, which I couldn’t participate in. But God knew that was what I needed. I spent all the time I would typically use eating to spend time with God. It was exactly the thing I needed, and God knew that. Since then, I’ve felt a new level of love for God that I didn’t even realize was possible. I truly feel comfortable knowing that God is the one who defines me. I know that I do not need to live for others’ acceptance because I have already been accepted.

Thank you all for reading, I truly appreciate each and every one of you so much. It’s incredible to know that I have a team of supporters who are there for me and cheering me on. If you feel called, I would love it so much if you prayed that I continue to let God take more control over my life. I struggle with being too stubborn to accept that He is always the answer.