The Revitalization of my Faith

In my last post, I shared that I would be working at Camp David of the Ozarks for two weeks. I was not anticipating how life-changing this trip would be, not even a little bit. This trip gave me the most profound God moment I’ve ever had and completely changed my relationship with Christ.

For context, I’ve always considered myself a Christian, but quite frankly, outside of the church, it wouldn’t be easy to tell. I had become brutally complacent in my faith, I felt comfortable living a double life because it was all I knew. I looked around me at my peers and it was the same life they lived, so I figured it was okay. This left me identifying as a Christian, but I only had remnants of a personal relationship with God. In hindsight, this was a major problem, and by way of this trip, God made sure I knew it.

I’ll start from the beginning, the eight-hour drive to camp. I had started listening to this book titled, Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. If you haven’t read it, I would highly suggest it. There is a ton more to this book than I will share now but the general concept of the book is realizing how incomprehensible God is, finding out how blessed we are to even get an opportunity to serve Him, and finally recognizing that God wants more from us than simply saying we are Christians, He wants us to live out our faith. Already, the book had been convicting me very deeply. But oftentimes, in mere hours or days, I would revert back to my old ways after feelings of conviction like this. But God didn’t want me to forget it this time. At this point in the trip, it was pouring down rain to a point where I couldn’t see any further than five or ten feet in front of my car. I was on the interstate in rural Illinois with only semis and the occasional sedan driving past. The book had gotten to a point where it discussed how fragile life is. Francis Chan was describing how short and futile our lives are without God, and how we could lose our lives at any minute. He was calling us all to action because the only thing that could make us significant in this life is by furthering God’s kingdom within the short time we get on this earth. At that moment, my car hydroplaned. I was sliding across the interstate at 85 mph surrounded by semis. Despite having no control over my car whatsoever and watching the bumpers of semis get closer and closer, I felt no fear. I felt an overwhelming sense of calm. It was almost as if someone was whispering in my ear, “it’s okay, I am here.” In a matter of seconds, I had slid across the interstate to the other side and landed in a ditch. If I had slid even a couple of feet differently, I would’ve been hit by a semi and likely lost my life. So there I sat, in a ditch, still in shock, with the words I had just heard seconds before echoing in my head, “you could die at any moment, will that change the way you live?”

Now the crash wasn’t the only time I felt God during my time at camp, I felt God in a way I had never felt him before, on a daily basis. As a counselor, I learned how little I could do on my own. My campers would ask questions and I couldn’t even think of half an answer for them. I realized how incompetent I am on my own. The only way I got through was with the complete takeover of my life from God. Over my time at camp, I sincerely believe that I spent more personal time studying God’s word than in the entirety of my life prior.

Another profound God moment came in the second week at camp. I was only planning on staying at camp for two weeks because I felt I needed more time at home to get financial support and generally prepare for my trip. As time went on, the toll of this had gotten quite big on my mind. I was very anxious that I wasn’t going to have enough funds to go on the trip if I didn’t leave soon. But at the same time, I felt like I was still being called to stay at camp. I was thoroughly conflicted, I felt split in half. So, I decided to pray over the decision and wait for God to speak to me, and speak to me He did. Over the next two days, out of nowhere, 1800 dollars in donations came in. It was like God hit me over the head with a two-by-four saying, “I always provide, you should’ve known that.” So I stayed the last week and grew even further in my faith.

My three weeks at camp showed me a whole new level of relationship that God has been asking for me to have all along. I feel that my faith has grown in every single way imaginable. My love for God has grown so much, and as I continue to pursue Him, I only feel it getting stronger. God has shown me just how much of a blessing it is to have the opportunity to serve Him. There’s a verse that really stayed on my mind throughout this whole experience, and I would like to share it with you all. 1 Chronicles 29:14 says, “But who am I and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? For everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your own hand.”